document.write('<q><i>');

var r = Math.random();
var num = 31;
if (r < 1 / num)
   {document.write("They say that there is an exception to every rule. But, what is the exception to that rule?");}
else if (r < 2 / num)
   {document.write("I like pi.");}
else if (r < 3 / num)
   {document.write("I am sorry, but pi to the exponent of E squared does not equal the cosine of phi to the power of 2 imaginary divided by the value of pi on the forty eighth permutation of the reciprocal algorithm. Shame on you for even contemplating such a mediocre hypothesis.");}
else if (r < 4 / num)
   {document.write("I must agree that English is a funny language. There are so many good jokes in it.");}
else if (r < 5 / num)
   {document.write("The problem with society today is that people point out all the troubles with other people, yet fail to see their own flaws...<br />Of coarse, I don't do that, but everyone else does.");}
else if (r < 6 / num)
   {document.write("Measure once, and cut twice. That way, you do half the work, and have 2 pieces cut off!");}
else if (r < 7 / num)
   {document.write("I once had a math test where the procedure included trial and error. For the questions I got wrong, I think I should have gotten marks for getting the error part right.");}
else if (r < 8 / num)
   {document.write("It's kind of funny how looking over your work reduces the number of mistakes you overlook.");}
else if (r < 9 / num)
   {document.write("If you want to be successful in life, get lucky.<br/>If you want to get rich, be successful.<br/>If you want to be happy, get rich.");}
else if (r < 10 / num)
   {document.write("If the law is an ass, I can see what that would make lawyers.");}
else if (r < 11 / num)
   {document.write("That was probably the most wise, inspirational, useful, and educating thing I've ever heard. <br/>Good thing I wasn't listening.");}
else if (r < 12 / num)
   {document.write("This saying has gotten me through geography class ever since kindergarten:<br/><tt>We knew the merry world was square, and we shall fail forever more.</tt>");}
else if (r < 13 / num)
   {document.write("If I had 5&#162; for every time someone told me I was organised, Then I would have, well, 5&#162;. ");}
else if (r < 14 / num)
   {document.write("If they won't let you join 'em...<br/>beat 'em!");}
else if (r < 15 / num)
   {document.write("Whenever anyone criticizes my ideas, it becomes my personal endeavour to prove them wrong.");}
else if (r < 16 / num)
   {document.write("Your figurative thermal reading as I perceive it appears to be exponentially higher than that of anyone else whom I have ever seen.");}
else if (r < 17 / num)
   {document.write("I think I'd best make myself scarce right about now...");}
else if (r < 18 / num)
   {document.write("There are sooooooooo many mean jokes that come to mind right now...");}
else if (r < 19 / num)
   {document.write("If you restrict my freedom on the computer, I <strong>will</strong> hack my way around it.");}
else if (r < 20 / num)
   {document.write("The trouble with taking programming is that your mark will usually be in the C to C++ range.");}
else if (r < 21 / num)
   {document.write("I suppose it can be argued that the bell curve proves all those racial activists right...<br/>Some races are definitely more equal than others.");}
else if (r < 22 / num)
   {document.write("If you call me a nerd one more time, I'll hit you over the cranium with this polytetrafluoroethylene pan.");}
else if (r < 23 / num)
   {document.write("If you obsess today over bettering tommorrow, then all of yesterday's obsessions over bettering what is now today will be wasted.");}
else if (r < 24 / num)
   {document.write("If I knew where I learned everything I know, than I'd have to know twice as much, now wouldn't I?");}
else if (r < 25 / num)
   {document.write("Please get your mind out of the municipal drainage system.");}
else if (r < 26 / num)
   {document.write("That made about as much sense as a sloth on depressants.");}
else if (r < 27 / num)
   {document.write("The trouble  with a physicist dating a biologist:<br/>There's just never any chemistry between them.");}
else if (r < 28 / num)
   {document.write("I'm not someone who doesn't like getting my hands dirty; what I don't like is cleaning them up again.");}
else if (r < 29 / num)
   {document.write("I'm not a large...<br/>I'm an extra medium!");}
else if (r < 30 / num)
   {document.write("Refusing help never helped anyone...");}
else if (r < 31 / num)
   {document.write("Life's too short to worry about those factors that shorten your lifespan.");}
else
   {document.write("You know the trouble with most times when people say \"life isn't fair?\" It is that usually, those people are in a position to make it more fair.");};

document.write('</q></i><br /><b>-Billy Graydon</b>');